“Doctors don’t want swabs in their office because there’s no place to which you can then take the swabs. Also, doctors don’t want sick people in their office. And sick people don’t want to go to an office that’s full of sick people.
“Drive-through tents went up in many states because we’re not ready for all these tests. This will peak in two months, then come down. By June, it’s a small number of cases. When people recover is when we’ll get some immunity.
“We haven’t data yet to know if it’s seasonal, or if it’s a novel virus. Or if this is its first time ever in humans, which accounts for why there’s no resistance. We have antibodies and vaccines but, being brand-new, vaccines can only come from similar conditions.
“It’s from this pandemic that we learn. Information comes from testing sick people. But we’re not ready for all the testing.
“Understand, many ‘unsick’ are walking around. They neither know, nor show, for a two-week period — thus they walk around infecting others. Twenty percent will go through infection without ever feeling symptoms.”
A resident of NYC, where the condition appears to be the most prevalent, where’s Dr. Baden now?
“In my country house.”
The best city to be stuck in
Think positive. Assuming we’ve scraped bottom — we’re still tops. Even just in attitude.
New Yorkers have such attitude we could export the stuff. Like, who else has such skyline.
Butte, Mont.? Butte’s highest structure is buffalo dung.
Prefer exurbia, where late-night dinner’s 4:30? Please … we got us New York water, New York bagels, New York steak, New York cheesecake — and, even now, 2nd Ave Deli’s knishes, chopped liver, tuna salad and mushroom barley take-out. So knock off knocking New York!
It can’t wait
So, how’s civilization surviving? Comes a p.r. firm’s note: “Please find images of Carrie Underwood wearing Rebecca Minkoff’s Lilly jumpsuit on [Fallon’s show]. Let me know if you can include in any upcoming stories!” As we know, Fallon is now broadcasting from home, doing daily 10-minute “At Home Edition” segments.
Well, that’s not very Charmin
This guy sponged on a neighbor for dinner. Instead of his usual bottle of wine gift, he brought the host Scott bathroom tissue. No overspender, it was the one-ply kind … David Hockney, who says art helps heal tragedy, unveiled an upbeat corona canvas titled “Do Remember That They Can’t Cancel Spring.” Not into tragedy, self-quarantining in France, his splatterings bring up to $90 mil at auction … Palm West offering an at-home “Steak Kit for 2.” Bargain price — $135. But, it comes with sides and cheesecake.
Rollin’ in it
John Catsimatidis sends this photo, under which it says: “Hunkered down at a high-stakes card game.” It’s Cats at a poker game. Facing a bunch of other equally slim, stunning dudes. Spread around in place of poker chips — stacks of toilet paper rolls.
Francine Lefrak, who was planning her April 8 annual religious family dinner: “Biblical irony. Our Passover seder was canceled by a plague.”
Only in New York (and the rest of civilization) kids, only in wherever.